elliot smith's new cd comes out Oct. 19th. i encourage you all to checkout.buy.download his music-- you might recognize his sounds from the good will hunting soundtrack. too tired from school.work.research.etc to write anything, so here's a rehashed entry from about a year ago. i know i been lagging on the updates. no worries, my blog is going to undergo a change of sorts. by that, i mean it's going to stop sucking and it's gonna start kicking ass once again.

rip elliott smith

have you ever noticed how some of the most tremendous works of art are created by the most tormented souls? sylvia plath, van gogh, kurt cobain, to name a few... what is it about misery and depression that provides so much fodder for creative inspiration? i s'pose it stems from the fact that misery loves company and we, as social beings, love when we're brought together by a medium in which we can identify. not everyone knows what it feels like to be truly happy, but everyone has felt sadness and depression at some point in their lives. besides, i'd much rather kick the guy who sings about the happiness in his life in the head than hear him belt a ballad about it.

we live in a masochistic society where we enjoy hearing songs about heartbreak. it is in these moments that describe our worst that we can feel our best. these moments where we can say, "yeah, i'm glad i'm not that guy. my life ain't so bad at all."

depression is a strange phenomenon. known by many, but only understood by a troubled few. it's an unsubstantiated emotion. people who don't understand it often quip, "what's there to be depressed about?" they fail to understand that the very fact that there isn't any reason for this depression intensifies the state of depression and confusion - why do i feel this way? if we knew why we felt this way or why we were depressed, we'd be able to remedy the situation. instead, it's like getting stuck at the bottom of a bottomless pit, without any view of the opening at the top or of a way to get out. as a result, the only way to travel is down - down to a place where desolation and despair ultimately consume you because all of your efforts to climb out are inefficacious.

in any case, it makes for great inspiration - transforming our lack of motivation for life into a creative drive to create something that captures and epitomizes the emotions we feel. it is a desperate attempt at finding solace in some kind of reason for our state of mind - a reason that results in a great work of art. it's about finding beauty in the midst of so much pain.

we all say that suicide is a very bad thing. sometimes i feel like we say it out of utilitarian need - if everyone started to choose the way they made an exit in this life, the human race would be in serious peril. but, there is something intriguing about suicide. something sexy about choosing the way you make your exit in this life. we accuse those who chose to take their own lives as cowards. we accuse the act as an act of selfishness. but maybe those who do it simply don't want to overstay their welcome. there are an awful lot of people in this world that have long overstayed their welcome that i'd like to see gone. if depression is an illness, maybe suicide is its form of euthanasia. but let me make a disclaimer and state that i am in no way encouraging suicide or trivializing the severity of its implications. i'm just trying to look at it from another point of view.

of course, there's that whole idea that we are not our own keeper and that our bodies are a testament and temple of God. thus, desecrating our bodies through suicide would be a blatant act of sacrilege.

in any case, for those of you who don't know of elliott smith, the genius behind the Good Will Hunting soundtrack, he was truly an inspiration for artists and songwriters alike. he was the epitome of the american folk singer. on october 21st, he unsuccessfully tried to rid his heart of the internal demons that plagued it by stabbing himself with a knife. while he wasn't able to overcome his own torment, let's hope that his work and music will survive to provide solace to the many who feel the same way.